Letters to our Younger Selves: Winners of the May Writing Challenge

The May Writing Challenge issued by the Southern Christian Writers Conference asked members to write a letter to their 5-year-old, 18-year-old, or 22-year-old self. (We were inspired by the graduation ceremonies we celebrate in May for kindergarteners, high school seniors, or college graduates.)

We received many wonderful letters, and chose the following SCWC members as our winners.

Congratulations to...

1st place: Darcy Hicks

2nd place: Glenni Lorick

3rd place: Charisse Rupert

Below are the winning letters. We know that you'll enjoy them as much as we did; they challenged our thinking, and created new gratitude with the way our lives can be transformed by family, friends, the wisdom of time, and God's love.

Dear 5-year-old Darcy,

Yes, I am writing to you—the sweet, brown-eyed girl with pigtails wearing your favorite brown overalls with a rainbow on the front. You finished kindergarten! I am so proud of you.

I wish you could see yourself as others do. You are loved beyond your wildest imagination. Don’t be shy and hide your light under a rock. Remember the song you learned in Sunday School, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine”? Well, I want you to let your life shine. You don’t need to be like anyone else. Just be you because your light is bright for Jesus!

Remember that you have a voice, and your words matter, but so does your tone. While you can be rather bossy for being the baby of the family, that bossiness will be one of your greatest strengths in the future. You tend to want things to be just right and often take on more responsibility than necessary. Those are good things, but you must remember to have some fun.

Try something new. Ride the horse. Go on bike rides with your friends. Keep playing with dolls. It’s OK to laugh and do things because they make you smile. It’s also OK to make mistakes and try again. Your sense of adventure, perfectionism, responsibility, and stubbornness will be a blessing and a curse, so pay attention to them because they will make for a beautiful life if you use them well.

I know you love church and Jesus, and your love for him will only grow as you get older. Keep taking your Bible to church and learning scripture. As you face many challenges in your lifetime, scripture will be your saving grace. Life will be hard, little one, but God will never leave your side, and turning away from him will not be the answer.

Also, you don’t have to work so hard to prove yourself. I know Dad expects a lot of you, and you are trying to please everyone, but your Heavenly Father made you in his image, formed you, and knew you before you were born. You are perfect the way you are. Your love for God’s word and the gifts he gave you will lead others to Jesus if you keep letting your light shine.

One more thing: keep reading. I know it felt impossible learning to read this year. But all those “Dick & Jane” books that you struggled to get through are just the beginning of a lifelong love affair with words and stories. So many books will fill your home in future years. So don’t give up—you are doing great!

Finally, I’m sorry you feel shy, scared, and unsure of yourself, even at this young age. I know you are wondering where you fit into the world, but I want you to know you belong. God has a plan made uniquely for you, and it’s a good one. Keep your eyes on Jesus and shine your light for him!

“For I know the plans I have for you” – this is the Lord’s declaration – “plans for your well-being; not for disaster; to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (CSB)

Love you and the light you bring to the world,

Your future self (age 51)

Dear 5 year old Glenni,

Billie told you that if you were a good little girl, you’d go to Heaven. Sweetheart, please don’t spend your life trying to be good and trying to please Billie. I know that you try not to think about what she did to you, and you’ve done a really good job of suppressing the memories. I know that you feel so much shame, and you don’t understand why. You think that you have done something wrong, but someday you’ll understand that something very wrong has been done to you.

The next few years are going to be very painful. Daddy will try to take custody of you, but Billie will do all she can to make you afraid of Daddy. You need to know that Daddy and Pat love you very much. They truly want what is best for you. But it won’t feel that way to you when Billie buys you two Easter dresses, one for this year and one that is a couple of sizes too big. She’ll tell you that you’ll never get another pretty dress if Daddy gets custody of you. She’ll tell you that the only reason he wants you is for you to be a babysitter for his two new babies. But what Billie doesn’t know is that your two little brothers will love you so much. Daddy and Pat will always tell them wonderful things about you, and they will think you are amazing, They will always want you to be part of their lives, and someday you will be closer to them than you could ever imagine!

You can’t possibly understand this yet, but someday you will grasp the truth that Billie and Jack are very unhealthy people. Jack hurt Mommy when she was a little girl, just like Billie hurt you. But Mommy won’t remember that for many more years. Mommy has some really deep wounds inside, Glenni, but you are her world, and she loves you. She’s about to get married again, and soon she won’t live with you and Billie and Jack anymore. Unfortunately, Tom will break Mommy’s heart, and you will feel very sad. I know that she seems more like a big sister to you than your Mommy; that’s because Billie thinks that you are her second chance at raising a daughter who will turn out the way she wants. I know you sense the tension between Billie and Mommy, and all you want to do is just make everyone happy.

Speaking of making everyone happy…. Glenni, it isn’t your job to make your grandparents happy. They are both very unhappy people, and you don’t have to keep saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” to try to make things okay. You will never be able to make them happy, no matter how hard you try. Believe me, you will drive yourself crazy trying to please Billie, but you never will. And when you grow up, you’ll have the terrible habit of always apologizing for everything, regardless of whether you have any control in the situation. It will really annoy people, especially your family! It will take a long time to break that habit.

After the custody trial, the judge will agree that you need to be with Daddy, but you will be scared, and Billie will have brainwashed you to think he is bad. You will beg the judge to let you go live with Mommy, so the judge will tell Daddy to give you time to get used to the idea of moving all the way down to Chile to live with him and Pat and your brothers. But instead of preparing you to go to Daddy, Billie and Jack will send you to live with Mommy in Texas. Glenni, it won’t be easy. You and Mommy will move every 6 months or so. You will change schools so much that you will learn to be very outgoing and make friends quickly.

Then when you’re in fifth grade living in Dallas, you’ll meet Sheri and her mom. They will take you to church with them where you will hear the Gospel. I know that now you gaze up at the sky and want to know that you will go to Heaven someday. But Billie is wrong. Being a good little girl will not get you to Heaven. In Dallas you’ll learn that Jesus died for you and that the only way to go to Heaven is to trust in Him because you can’t possibly be good enough.

The Lord is already calling you to Himself, Glenni. He loves you with an eternal love. In the middle of your pain, He wants to hold you. He will give you a new life and make you a new creation. You are His precious little girl. You will have ups and downs; you will face challenges, but you will see God protect you again and again.

In about 10 years you will rekindle your relationship with your Daddy. But it will take another 10 years for all the fear that Billie has made to grow in your little heart to completely leave. Billie will be hateful to you when you begin to see Daddy. She will blame him for every stupid teenage thing you do. But someday you will come to understand that Daddy was the one who loved you selflessly, and your love for him will grow more than you could ever have imagined.

I know you wish that Billie and Jack would act like they loved each other, and I know how much you want a real family to make you feel secure. It was cruel of Billie and Jack to threaten to send you to the orphanage when you disobeyed. Someday, Glenni, you will meet a man who will love you the way Jesus does. Someday you will be a mommy yourself to a little blonde-headed girl who is just like you are now. By the time she is 5 you will have gone through counseling. You will understand what was done to you, and you will have experienced the healing that your precious little heart needs.

Someday you will be sitting with your counselor as he tells you to close your eyes. He will ask you to picture the Lord Jesus sitting on a hillside with people bringing children to Him. Adult Glenni will take 2 year old Glenni by the hand and bring her to Jesus to sit on His lap and be blessed by Him. In that moment, Sweetheart, you will be made whole as little Glenni finally begins to feel protected and genuinely loved. I promise you that it will all turn out well. And someday, Glenni, you will get your wish to go to Heaven to be with the Savior whom you will spend your life loving.

Love,

Adult Glenni

My Dearest Charisse,

Wow! You are officially an adult or a “real” adult as you would say. I know that you are in a pretty good place right now. You and Devon have been married since 1996 and your boys are growing so fast! Jay is four and Trey is two! They are amazing, bright little boys! As you anticipate the birth of your only daughter Skyler-Imani as well as moving to Bamberg Germany to join Devon at his first duty station, please remember one thing. No matter how hard things get, no matter how unsure you feel, PLEASE remember that God is ALWAYS WITH YOU CHARISSE!!!! You don’t have to go through life on your own! One day you may be separated from Devon and your dearly beloved children! There may be times where you want to end your life because of the deep, internal pain that you feel but don’t understand. In those times especially, HOLD ON TO GOD! He loves you baby! God has a beautifully perfect plan for your life no matter where you are in your life. It will be much easier on you and your family if you seek Him now! Seek Him first! Trust Him first! Follow Him first! Rely on Him first! But even if you don’t, His Grace is sufficient. Even if you make all of the wrong decisions and get involved in drugs, adultery, fornication, become a felon, get divorced three times, struggle with mental health challenges and more GOD WILL STILL BE THERE and in the end you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that both Romans 8:28 and Genesis 50:20 are indeed alive and working in your life.

I love you so very much! And yes, it does get better! And by the way, 47 isn’t so old after all! 

Yours Truly, (literally)

Charisse Rupert

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Did you enjoy reading these creations by our SCWC writers? Join in the fun of submitting to our monthly challenges; you can learn about them at the beginning of each month in the SCWC Facebook group and also in our monthly newsletter.

If you want the opportunity to get published in other SCWC publications throughout the year, stay tuned for further announcements. We publish ebooks and paperbacks each year featuring our authors!